First (or firstly, whichever you prefer), it’s time to be, as Randy Bachman, an excellent musician but one who never fails to refer to himself with the oxymoron “Canadian superstar”, sang: “Takin’ care of business”. And that business would be a brief report on last Saturday’s big Jam in June MS Fundraiser at the Elks Club.
How brief a report? ‘Jam’ packed house. Four musical performances from 12 very veteran musicians. Standing ovations. Dancing. Concert-ing. Happy people. And get this! – Just a few ten dollar bills short of a $4,000 donation to the MS Clinic at the hospital tossed into the hat by generous music lovers! We’ve already booked next Jam in June 2026 – although we may have to set up tables in the parking lot!
The Elks tell me it was a great success at the beverage counter – both adult-type bevies and virgin-type whistle-wetters (the drinks, I’m talking about the drinks!) which got me thinking of this week’s topic: Stubbies.
No, I don’t mean when you inadvertently stub your unfortunate toe on the leg of the coffee table and end up writhing in pain face down on the couch. And I don’t mean the soggy end of a cigar stubbed out in an ashtray. And no it isn’t the latest impossibly cute doll in beanie baby collectibles – “Stubby Stuffies! More adorable than Smurfs – and less blue!”
I’ll bet a Labatt’s Blue that many of you boomers, codgers and geezers already have a clear picture in your mind of a stubby and it doesn’t look anything like a Smurf.
In a word: Canadian Beer Bottle.
Ok, that’s three words, but there was a time in this fair land when barley pops came in short, squat 12-ounce brown beauties. Capped bottles with stumpy round bodies, wide shoulders and short necks – the Sumo wrestlers of beer bottles.
I personally well remember having a hot hand around a cold Old Vienna in the form of a stubby back when the only beer in cans available at the Alberta Liquor Control Board (ALCB) - also known as MKLB (Militant Keeper of Local Booze) was some swill called Amstel. This in itself made it pretty cool to hoist a can when everybody else held a stubby, but the down side was Amstel tasted like a mixture of filtered slough water and a squirt of Windex.
But here’s the irony: the United Mistakes of America to the south boosted their beer almost exclusively in cans back then and there was nary a stubby in sight. You can get chicken soup in cans – that’s no fun. Stubbies are FUN!
Well, stubbies being ‘fun’ may be a bit of a stretch but they were certainly one thing that cans weren’t: they were CANADIAN! And that’s the point of a recent research paper exploring Canadian Stubbies (and they don’t mean short, chubby Canadians) as being “a discreet way of protecting a national industry”. Perhaps Heather Thompson of Carleton Uni couldn’t find a topic about the failing Maple Leafs like everybody else, but her thesis is none-the-less quite interesting, especially to beer drinkers (if anyone happens to know one).
Her thesis is that since the durable glass stubby could be refilled and reused up to 100 times, it kept costs down for Canadian brewers and kept foreign canned beer out of the market. Stubbies were introduced in 1961 and lasted until 1984 when American long necks attacked Canada. (Bottles, I’m talking about bottles…)
Heather’s paper says now that U.S. of Eh tariffs are threatening to destroy life as we know it, it’s time to revive the stubby and protect our brewski market. Sure!
I’ll buy you one if you buy me one.
Harley Hay is a Red Deer author and filmmaker. Reach out to Harley with any thoughts or ideas at harleyhay99@gmail.com.
