It’s summer!
Well, not quite, but the Victoria Day long weekend marks the unofficial start to summer, when B.C. becomes a mecca for tourists of all sorts, soaking in the sights of our magnificent province, learning about our amazing history, enjoying festivals, and buying enough souvenir tchotchkes to sink the Titanic.
Campers and RVs of all sorts — from truck-mounted models to 35-foot behemoths — have been out and about for some time, having returned from wherever it is they migrate to in winter. I know how frustrating it can be to get stuck behind one, but remind yourself that the occupants are dependent on the communities they pass through to supply them with a lot of things. That sound you hear isn’t just the strain of their engine as they chug up a hill at 57 kilometres an hour; it’s the sweet “ka-ching” of cash registers as they stop in our towns to buy gas, groceries, alcohol, campground spots, whatever they forgot to pack before they left (“What do you mean, we don’t have any mosquito repellent?”), and so much more.
When you finally find a passing lane, resist the urge to flip them the bird as you go past; that’s not one of the magnificent views we want them to remember. Give them a friendly wave instead, as you think about the boost to B.C.’s economy.
Some of those tourists will be Americans, and it goes without saying that whatever we might think about their current administration, we need to treat them like honoured guests, not an advance raiding party. Welcome them with open arms, even if they make comments about our “Monopoly money.” That one will never, ever die.
If you’re playing tourist in your own province, don’t think that gives you special powers. Remember the scene in National Lampoon’s Vacation, where the Griswold family finally arrives at Walley World? Alone in an empty parking lot, patriarch Clark Griswold tells his family that they’ve simply beaten the crowds, only to find the park is closed for renovations for two weeks. (Yes, it’s absurd to think a major theme park would close for renovations in the middle of summer, but suspension of disbelief is a thing, as your Grade 10 English teacher probably taught you.)
It's a lesson to us all to know before we go. Yes, the 108 Mile House Heritage Site is open for the season, but if — between now and July 1 — you’re heading past it on a Wednesday and want to stop in, you’ll be disappointed, as they’re closed on Tuesdays and Wednesdays through the end of June. Check these things in advance, because no one wants to be Clark Griswold.
Remind yourself that “Know your limit, play within it” doesn’t just apply to gambling. Many Interior residents seem to feel — by virtue of living in a rural area — that they are a cross between Daniel Boone, Davy Crockett, and Grizzly Adams regarding all things wilderness, when the truth is they’re no more of an outdoorsman than a member of the Kardashian family. If you can’t start a fire without several issues of wadded-up newspaper, enough wood to roast a pig, an accelerant of some sort, and half-a-box of matches, maybe you're not as adept in the woods as you think.
The same goes for many other outdoor activities. Don’t know port from starboard? Maybe boating isn’t for you. Do your legs ache after a day shopping in Kamloops? Perhaps long hikes through mountain meadows won’t be as idyllic as you think. Catching a fish is one thing; do you know how to kill it, bone it, and fillet it, and have the proper tools to do so? No? That’s why we have grocery stores.
Ah, summer! A time of rest, relaxation, and fun. Just remind yourself of that when you get stuck behind an RV doing well below the speed limit. They won’t be here for long, and we’ll miss them when they’re gone. Really.
