Summer is slowly fading away
As Autumn gathers near.
The wheat is ready,
The fields are ripe,
Harvest time is here.
Eadie Ames
World Friendship Day has passed (it was on July 10). I should think that we would be conscious of the importance of making friends every day we are alive, and not reserve just one day of the year to celebrate it.
Children meet other children on the first day of school or at summer camp or when a new family moves into their neighbourhood. They seem to be able to make friends fairly quickly. Before a school year is out, almost every child finds a “best friend”. They eat lunch together, play at recess together, etc., often to the exclusion of other youngsters.
Yet how many of these friendships are sustained throughout their lives? How many friends do you have from your school days? Adults don’t act as quickly as children when it comes to making friends. They are more wary of consequences, less willing to risk rejection, and less able to trust the interaction. Effort is required. What seems to come more naturally to children can be a challenge for adults.
Studies show that a high percentage of adults admit they “sometimes or often” feel lonely. Social media has made it easier to make connections, but are people actually making good friends that way, or merely having conversations? Adult friendships take longer to develop. Some people wait for friendships to simply appear, while others will be more proactive and pursue a relationship.
It’s well-known that friends enrich life, improve health, soften loneliness, prevent isolation, and increase a sense of belonging and purpose. There are several simple but highly effective ways to make friends and deepen connections.
You’ve probably heard the expression “To have a friend, be one.” Put your emphasis on quality, high-value relationships rather than on quantity.
Author Gretchen Rubin advises to be prepared to move out of your comfort zone a little. She suggests actively seeking friends when you face a new situation such as moving to a new neighbourhood or community or to a new apartment or condo. Set yourself a goal of making one or more new friends. Though this approach seems overly calculating, she says the objective helps one behave differently. It lets one be more open to people, prompts one to make the effort to go beyond every day chit chat.
You can expand your possibilities for finding new friends through your hobbies and interests. You might join a knitting group or a book club or curling team, or become a volunteer in a local organization, or simply make a daily visit to the dog park with your pet. There you might feel more comfortable starting a conversation with someone who you already know shares a common interest.
So, if you are shy, hesitant, timid, or introverted, gently work to overcome these hurdles and make yourself available to new friendship experiences. Take the step and the risk to reach out. Don’t let fear of rejection stop you. Take time to cultivate and develop friendships, because they are crucial to your well-being and happiness.
You don’t have to be friendless. Cultivate initiative and be proactive, and you will undoubtedly gain some new friends. One of those may become your new “best friend”.
The next regular meeting of the Clinton Seniors’ Association is on Sept. 21 following lunch at the Clinton Seniors’ Centre (217 Smith Avenue). Come and join us! There are members there who are friends you haven’t met yet!
Happy Birthday to Heather Henri (Sept. 10) and Irene McDonald (Sept. 27).
Our lives are filled with simple joys
And blessings without end,
And one of the greatest joys in life
Is to have a friend.
Author unknown
